never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
