let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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