Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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