he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
