Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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