I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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