can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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