Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
