Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
