You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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