She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
