Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
