awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
