I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
