Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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