I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
