dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
