So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize