I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
