Do you still have your period?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Mom said you looked used
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
