I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
