they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
