Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
