Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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