It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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