garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize