Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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