She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I deserve this hangover.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
