I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
