So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
