we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
