Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i think i have two assholes
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
