Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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