i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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