Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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