fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
