Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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