how can u be prego again
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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