if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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