so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
