so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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