that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize