I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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