I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
