Your dad touched me again.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
