Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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