Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
