Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
