Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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