I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
