My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize