So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
