I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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