He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
