if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
