The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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