Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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