Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
