Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
