she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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