you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
