Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
