did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What did we do last night that was yellow?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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