I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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