It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
