I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
