Nicole vs. Life
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
